Tuesday, January 14, 2014
The Most Stupid Conspiracy Theories of Muslims and Anti-Semites
Only one group of people were, and those people were… the Jews!!
The good news is, some Muslim commentators have condemned 9/11 conspiracy theories. One asked rhetorically:
Didn’t Arabs try to blow up the World Trade Center in 1993? Aren’t Arabs capable of flying planes? Aren’t Arabs responsible for suicide operations in Southern Lebanon and in occupied Palestine? Didn’t Arabs come up with the idea of hijacking and blowing up civilian planes in the late 1960s and early 1970s, and then give it up after it turned out that this method failed abysmally in achieving their political goals…?’”
Another wrote with palpable exasperation:
“The Arabs keep insisting on their innocence and accusing the Mossad of planning the deed with the aim of launching an aggressive war against the Muslims in Afghanistan and Iraq… But this tale clashes with the fact that Jews are cowards and do not commit suicide. So the theory was amended, and it was claimed that the Mossad had planned and funded [the operation], and a group from among our innocent young people was deceived and ensnared by the Mossad, and that it was they who carried out [the operation].
“I do not know how long this [Muslim] arrogance will continue. Why don’t we want to acknowledge that these young people were the sons of a culture that is hostile toward the world, not idiots or mad. No one enticed them, and they did not suffer from oppression, repression, or poverty. They carried out the operation because of their belief that it was Jihad and martyrdom. They were our young people and our sons, and they were our responsibility.”
The bad news is that these condemnations were more frequently heard in the years following the attack. If anything, belief in “9/11 conspiracies” has increased in the intervening years.
That doesn’t mean we should give up debunking these theories at every opportunity. However, we have to acknowledge that we are trying to educate people who, in many respects, either cannot or will not change their minds, no matter how much evidence we present or how much mockery we employ.
1) Jewish Leaders Deliberately Engineered The Holocaust
As anyone who has ever had to listen to one knows, racists aren’t the most logical of people. So when a crazy anti-Semite comes out with a theory along the lines of “the Jews deliberately caused the Holocaust,” sadly some people actually take notice.The theory goes that an international cartel of evil Zionists planted Hitler in Germany, with specific orders that he become a world-class douchebag and slaughter six million of their coreligionists. Just think about that for a minute. It’s like an extract from the idiot’s guide to casual racism: Take a group of people you hate, add a historical “bad thing,” and try and claim the first group caused it. Only they’ve somehow missed the part where it needs to make any rational sense. When you’ve gone this far down the conspiracy theory chain, there’s really nothing you can say to change the minds of those who believe it. No matter how slowly and patiently you go over the historical evidence to suggest they’re talking crap, they’ll still insist that Jewish/Zionist bankers engineered the Holocaust, which didn’t kill that many people anyway, simply to justify Israel’s something-something-something anti-Semitism. That’s it: If there’s any conspiracy theory dumber than this one, I don’t really want to hear about it.
2) Sandy Hook Was An Israeli Attack
Late last year, Adam Lanza took a gun into Sandy Hook elementary school and proceeded to commit one of the worst atrocities in US history. All told, 26 people died, including 20 children. In the face of such a pointless tragedy, mouth-breathers everywhere naturally decided it had to be a conspiracy.Chief among these soulless idiots was former GOP gubernatorial candidate Michael Harris, who claimed the massacre had been carried out by Israel as part of a revenge attack. Rather than just being a lonely, stupid kid, Adam Lanza was a fall guy whose corpse was used to cover up the involvement of Israeli death squads, while Obama (obviously) knew about the whole thing. Despite the idea that Israel would murder American children for an unspecified reason being literally insane, the theory continues to do the rounds both online and in the official Iranian press. As a concept, it’s idiotic. As a response to the murder of 20 children, it’s downright offensive.
3) The Protocols of the Elders of Zion
I haven’t much to add to the thorough debunking of the notorious Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Here’s some background, on the off chance you aren’t familiar with this book:
The Protocols of the Elders of Zion is a forgery made in Russia for the Okhrana (secret police), which blames the Jews for the country’s ills. It was first privately printed in 1897 and was made public in 1905. It is copied from a nineteenth century novel by Hermann Goedsche (Biarritz, 1868) and claims that a secret Jewish cabal is plotting to take over the world. (…)
The Protocols were published in 1920 in a Michigan newspaper started by Henry Ford mainly to attack Jews and Communists. Even after they were exposed as a forgery, Ford’s paper continued to cite the document. Adolf Hitler later used the Protocols to help justify his attempt to exterminate Jews during World War II.
Alas, news of the debunking hasn’t reached many areas of the Muslim world.
And even if the facts were presented there, the Protocols are such a handy tool I doubt it would make any difference. The book is so popular that it has been adapted as a TV mini-series for broadcast in various Muslim countries.
4) Sharks Attack
In December 2010, several shark attacks occurred off the South Sinai resort of Sharm el-Sheikh in Egypt.
Following the attacks, in an interview on Tawfik Okasha's popular but controversial Egypt Today TV show, a Captain Mustafa Ismail, introduced as "a famous diver", alleged that the GPS tracking device found on one of the sharks was in fact a "guiding device" planted by Israeli agents.
Describing the conspiracy connection to Israel as "sad", Professor Mahmoud Hanafy, a marine biologist at Suez Canal University, pointed out that GPS devices are used by marine biologists to track sharks, not to remote-control them. Egyptian officials suggested that the attacks were due to overfishing, illegal feeding, the dumping overboard of sheep carcasses, or unusually high water temperatures.
5) Birds carrying Israeli tracking devices and tags
Birds (as well as other animals) are often tagged with GPS tracking devices or identification bands to record their movements for animal migration tracking and similar reasons.
Ohad Hatzofe, an avian ecologist for the Israel's Nature and Parks Authority, said the idea that tagged birds are used for spying is absurd, and stated that "Birds and other wildlife belongs to all of us and we have to cooperate... Ignorance causes these stupid beliefs that they are used for spying"
Animal spies to Israel.... And so it goes on... and on... and on...
6) Israeli Sex Gum and the Sodas of Doom
Given strict Islamic rules about food consumption, it isn’t surprising that a number of conspiracy theories concern food, drink — and even chewing gum:
Hamas suspects that Israeli intelligence services are supplying its Gaza Strip stronghold with chewing gum that boosts the sex drive in order to “corrupt the young,” an official said on Tuesday.
Last time I checked, sex was still, you know, where babies come from. Are more Palestinians really in Israel’s best interest? (Silly me: even that “side effect” must be part of the Jews’ cunning plan. I’m just too stupid to understand the nuances.)
Many Muslim conspiracies involve big brand names, like Coke and Pepsi. In some cases, these theories hold that these soft drinks contain forbidden pork products:
According to a report published in Jordanian magazine, the head of Delhi University’s Science and Technology Center , Dr. Mangoshada scientifically proved that the key element in Pepsi and Cola contains extract from the intestines of Pig which causes cancer and other deadly diseases.
The Indian university conducted tests on the impact of drinking Pepsi and Coca Cola which proved that drinking them lead to more rapid heart rate and low pressure. Also drinking 6 bottles of Pepsi or Cola at a time causes instant death.
Other conspiracy theories take advantage of the habit mentioned above, of seeing things that aren’t there, in this case in the products’ logos: some Muslims believe “Pepsi” is an acronym for “Pay Ever Penny Save Israel” or that “Pepsi” really spells “Israel.”
I guess if you haven’t invented anything important in the last thousand years, the next best thing is to slander those who have.
7) Zionist Conspiracies
The Anti-Defamation League lists Zionist conspiracies including spreading poisons (Jan 1995, Al-Ahram), spreading AIDS (Al-Shaab), blood rituals (June 1995, Al-Ahram), leading an international conspiracy against Islam (March 1995, Al-Ahram), and creating the myth of the Holocaust (Dec 1995-Feb 1996, Egyptian Gazette).
Conspiracy theories holds the Jews responsible for killing Lincoln and Kennedy, and causing the French and Russian revolutions. Zionists are seen as a threat to the world. A widespread conspiracy theory after the September 11 attacks blamed Israel and Mossad for the attacks.
8) Zionist Occupation Government (ZOG)
Zionist Occupation Government or Zionist Occupied Government (abbreviated as ZOG) is an antisemitic conspiracy theory that holds that Jews secretly control a given country, while the formal government is a puppet regime. The expression is used by antisemitic groups such as white supremacists in the United States and Europe, ultra-nationalists such as Pamyat in Russia, and various far-right groups, including some in Poland.
One early appearance of the term was in 1976 in an article, Welcome to ZOG-World, attributed to an American neo-Nazi Eric Thomson.[a] The term came to the attention of a larger audience in a December 27, 1984 article in The New York Times about robberies committed in California and Washington by a white supremacist group called The Order. According to the newspaper, the crimes "were conducted to raise money for a war upon the United States Government, which the group calls 'ZOG,' or Zionist Occupation Government."